I hope this letter finds you well given the unfortunate circumstances surrounding your case. I am writing because I want to express my support for your defense and freedom. As a man working towards ending domestic violence and violence against woman, I can tell you that your story inspires me to continue my work in challenging myself and other men to take the issue serious and examine its impact on our relationships, families and communities.
Your case hit home with me. I am the son of a woman who was a domestic violence victim and survivor. As a young boy I witnessed my mother being beaten by my stepfather and saw the effects of the beatings I did not witness. As a son who wished for years that my mother would build up the courage to defend herself and put an end to her abuse, I realize today that had she defended herself, she like you would have had to prove her innocence before her abuser would be held accountable for his actions and crimes against her.
For the past 17 years I have been working toward ending domestic violence and violence against woman. As time goes by I realize more and more that the justice system and its laws favor men in our society. The fact that men who beat and abuse their wives are treated differently than other violent and abusive offenders in our criminal justice system only serves to show the value of woman in our society.
As a father, I am working toward creating a world where I do not have to think about my daughter’s safety around men in my community and the man she may one day partner with. Like me, many other men have been conditioned, trained and taught that women are of less value than men. I want to help build a world where my daughter and all women are valued, honored and respected as human beings and not objectified and treated as property by men.
As a man I understand my role is to challenge other men to become part of the solutions to ending violence and abuse of woman and girls in our society. I believe men can do this, by beginning the process of telling on ourselves. This means sharing our stories, their impact on our families, communities and self in order to open up the space needed to hold each other accountable for our actions and begin the process of holding ourselves to different standards of manhood which represent healthy interactions and relationships with the woman in our lives.
Sister, I stand with you in unity; I seek true justice for you, but most of all I seek understanding for all survivors of domestic violence who could be Marissa Alexander or my mom.
Peace and blessings,